International Blasphemy Day 2017

is Blasphemy Day. It’s like atheist Christmas!

This Blasphemy Day is actually a special occasion in Canada, because it may be the last Blasphemy Day we observe while under the threat of Canada’s blasphemy law.

It’s important to remember why we mark Blasphemy Day as an occasion. “Blasphemy” is most often used as a tool to stifle legitimate criticism of religion, and blasphemy laws in particular are usually used to victimize minority beliefs. Blasphemy Day is not about intolerance of religion or religious groups. We “celebrate” Blasphemy Day to thumb our noses at blasphemy laws worldwide, and at any attempt to stifle criticism of religion and religious adherents.

So without any more ado, it’s time to get my blasphemy on! Don’t forget to check out last year’s blasphemies!

Let’s get started with a tip of the hat to one of the inspirations for Blasphemy Day: the “issue” of drawing Muhammad.

[A "Philosophy Raptor" meme: "If Muslims never drew Mohammed, how do they recognize him in the blasphemous pictures?"]

Maybe he looks Muslim.

Next is that favourite question of Christians: What would Jesus do?

[An image of Jesus being nailed to the cross, with the text: "Whenever I'm in doubt, I ask myself: "What would Jesus do?" And then I remember that Jesus chose to be crucified so maybe his decision making skills weren't all that great."]

Who ever wrote this meme nailed it.

Here’s a driving theme featuring Islam and Buddhism:

[A cartoon of a Buddhist monk driving, with his GPS giving the following directions: "Follow your bliss." "The obstacle is the path." "If you aim for it, you are turning away from it."]

[A photo of an accident in a motorcycle race, perfectly timed and framed with the rider a few metres away from the bike, sliding on the asphalt on his hands and knees in a way that looks exactly like a Muslim at prayer.]

Here’s a send-up of the burqa I thought was cute:

[A cartoon of two women in burqas looking at a photo featuring over a dozen women in burqas - that all look exactly identical - pointing one out and saying, "That's me there."]

“I’m going to post that picture for #puberme!”

This one’s easily the most blasphemous of all the blasphemies this year:

[A cartoon of a dress-up doll Jesus, who is nailed to the cross. The dress-up items are all BDSM themed, featuring various humiliating, feminizing, and other erotic accessories. The text says: "Now it's time for BDSM Jesus Dressup! Dress Jesus up in any of these exciting outfits then punish Him for all your sins! With magnetic BDSM Jesus, you can dress Him up again and again until He cant' take it any more! Visit Him on the web at JesusDressup.com. Don't be so shy, you know He wnats it just as bad as you wanna be forgiving or it!"]

As funny as this is on the face of ut, I just about died when I read the “Manufacturer’s note” in the fine print: “Jesus’s horsetail buttplug is meant to be positioned behind Him.”

I was delighted to discover that this is an actual site, with multiple dress-up themes. My favourite has to be the “27 club”. That’s just darkly brilliant.

Here’s an amusing video featuring a bunch of religious characters, packed with jokes:

I also discovered an interesting webcomic called Happle Tea! I am definitely going to read through its archives someday. Here’s a couple Happle Tea comics with funny takes on Ancient Greek religion:

[A four-panel cartoon. In panel 1, a women who is naked but for a sheet around her is cuddling a swan in a forest, saying, "Oh Zeus-swan that was magical." In the second panel, the swan is shown flying away as the woman watches, still enjoying the afterglow of the apparent sex. In the third panel, the woman is now dressed and at home, embracing her husband from behind, who is looking down at some task he is engaged in. The woman says: "Honey, I've got news! Zeus made love to me as a swan yesterday, and I gave burth to some eggs last night! It's a blessing from the gods! I can't wait until they hatch." In panel four, the woman is kissing her husband on the head, unaware that he is looking down at the fried egg he has on his fork and is about to eat.]

and Judaism:

[A three panel comic. In panel 1, a boy dresed in robes is looking up. He says, "God?" God (as a light in the sky) replies, "Yes?" The boy says "You're an idiot." In panel 2, the argument continues. God says "YOU'RE an idiot!" The boy says, "No YOU'RE an idiot!" God says, "No YOU'RE an idiot!" The boy says, "Well, your ASS is fat." In panel 3, there is an old man in robes emerging from a tent. God says, "Abraham. It's God. Kill your son Isaac."]

That’s all I have this year! Got any funny/insightful blasphemies to share? Leave a comment!

4 thoughts on “International Blasphemy Day 2017

  1. Thanks for this. Happy Blasphemy Day from the UK! I am celebrating by writing more sketches about God, maybe extending them into a short play.And I’ve recently set some medieval Persian poetry mocking belief for choir.
    Appalled to hear about the retrograde steps in Canada attacking criticism of religion. A country I admire starting a self- harm process.

    Good luck to you.

    • I think you may have misunderstood and have things backwards. Canada is not *adding* a blasphemy law… it is *repealing* the blasphemy law (along with several other laws that repress free speech that have been dead letter since 1982 but have remained on the books).

  2. Poor baby Jesus! “No crib for a bed” – but I thought that Joseph was a carpenter?😜

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