Scientific Satire

by | February 4, 2015

Dean Burnett, a doctor of neuroscience, who “moonlights as a comedy writer and stand-up comedian,” has written a satiric article about scientists who “turn the tables and interfere with matters of religion.”

The Catholic Church and Church of England have recently been urging MPs to vote against the introduction of mitochondrial donation, a potentially life-saving procedure with little to no evidence of any serious risks. However, despite many years of study and several regulations, the aforementioned churches have surprisingly decided to intervene and urge MPs to vote against approving the procedure.

Dr Hugh Briss, spokesperson for The Federation for Furthering Science (FFS) rebuts “the accusation that mitochondrial donation will result in ‘three-parent families'” with reference to the Bible:

“Even if that was true, which is isn’t, at no point has it ever been explained why this is an especially bad thing,” Dr Briss pointed out. “Seriously though; why is a three-parent family such a negative? Is it in the Bible? Wasn’t Jesus himself the result of a three-parent family? Or did I get the wrong idea there? I don’t see how you can tell people that two parents is the only thing permissible while insisting they call God “our father”, but maybe it’s just me”.

Many scientists and non-scientists would agree with Dr.Hugh Briss and with Dr Potkettle Black who has

“already produced a new version of the Bible that leaves out anything that can’t be 100% confirmed by science. It’s much more streamlined now, which is handy as you can fit it all on a postcard and mail it to people, rather than going door-to-door”.

Dr. Briss’ and Dr. Black’s comments (although satirical) are spot on. Unfortunately,

FFS . . . went on to reassure any people alarmed by their intentions that none of them are likely to occur because FFS is entirely fictional, so don’t actually exist. “Not that that’s ever made much difference in this context,” Dr Briss admitted.

H/T: ‏@ibushfield

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